New Smart Cars
by Eydie Scher
I open the passenger door. The alarm goes off. I get out. People are staring at me as if to say, "Shut that …..thing off!
I get back in the car. I press buttons but nothing helps. My husband returns and as soon as he gets within shouting distance of his car the alarm takes a nap. The beeping abruptly stops. He has the keyless key in his pocket. The car indicates that someone has tried to break in but it failed. I did not try to break in. I tried to break out. This happens not once but 3 or 4 times. Isn't there a way to stop this insanity? Look it up in the manual. It's not my car so I am NOT reading a 1000 page manual.
If you bought a car recently, then you know about keyless entry although not all new cars have it. It's force of habit. My first time driving the car has me searching for the nonexistent key. I press the button with the brake and voila, the car starts, the dash panel flashes, the rear view camera pops up and I am ready. This car beeps whether you are backing up or pulling forward if there is an object anywhere nearby. My head is twirling to follow it.
For hours, we sit in the car in the garage. The manual is in my hands. Scores of buttons loom in front of us. Okay, let's try the easy ones first. I know some of this stuff. My car is only two years old. It has taken me that long to figure out the navigation system. Just when I though I had it together, my husband gets a new car and we have to start all over. GPS systems are not alike especially if one is a Japanese model like mine and the other is American, like his. They do not speak the same language.
Every year, the cars come out with a slew of new designs to drive the buyer crazy. Why didn't the car salesman give us lessons? How do you use your cell with bluetooth? He didn't have a clue and called in reinforcements. That didn't cut it either.
Don't get me wrong. I love my GPS and my hands-free phone, which is now going to be a necessity as hand-held phones are being banned. I put in names and phone numbers and have a choice to press a button or talk to my car when making a phone call. I find it easier to just press a button. In HIS car that is NOT an option or maybe it is but he hasn't figured that out yet. Picture this. He gets in his GM car and tries to input phone numbers. Following the manual, he says "Hands Free". The car replies, "Voice recognition cancelled." He tries again in a softer voice. He keeps getting the same reply. Finally, he gets through. Okay, he has inputted some phone numbers and names.
Now comes the hard part. He tries to pull up a phone number. Just imagine trying to do this while driving. I think finding the number on your cell would be easier and safer. This car has attitude!
If you want the weather, a five-day forecast pops up. If there is traffic ahead, the car talks to you and tells you to try another route. He did that once but doesn't remember how. Men still don't ask directions and using a GPS to locate a place is like asking your car directions. He knows better. We still get lost a lot.
The CD player comes with only one CD slot. Why is that? You can record songs directly to the player from a CD or from the radio. It also comes with Satellite radio for free, though the price begins in a few months.
How many times have you gotten into a boiling hot car and burned part of your anatomy? This car can be set to cool off and heat up before you enter. The seats can be heated or get this, cooled. It's so easy to use even I can do it.
This car has one important thing missing. Get this! It has NO spare tire, not even a small one. Some auto manufacturers believe eliminating the spare tire will improve fuel efficiency and allow for more options. So what happens when you have a flat? It's raining, and it's pitch dark out. Oh, wait, did we read what to do in the manual? Of course not. We discover there is a compressor and a can of sealer. Read the directions. It is supposed to get you to an auto shop or tire dealer where hopefully they can fix the bad one. If not, you know how much those new tires cost. My husband has a 1967 Corvette.
My husband has a 1967 Corvette. You get in the car. You put the key in the ignition, you manually set the clock and the radio and you're off. You do have to know how to drive stick shift so that's why he's driving the Vet and I'm not. Your navigation system is in your head. The windows open and close with the touch of a button or a crank. There is no manual, at least not now. The Vet takes you from place to place without telling you how much gas you consumed or the weather. It assumes you know these things.
His new car is pretty. She is a gorgeous shade of red; you know the color that is sometimes called "speeding ticket red". It has its advantage though. How often have you exited a mall or store and had trouble finding your car? His car, however, is easier to spot. The color parades itself in front of our eyes. He gets compliments, not on him, on the car!
Please do let me know if you've bought a new car lately and have experienced some of these difficulties.